The Arabian Nights
by 1000GreenSun
Summary: The Arabian Nights are the collection of stories that Scheherazade tells her husband the Sultan. Just like the book- Louise spins a new story every night to entertain her husband, Sultan Kell-El and stay alive... Ch. 5- Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves II
1. Prologue: Scheherazade

**Title: **The Arabian Nights

**Rating: **T

**Pairings: **A lot of them… It'll be revealed as the fic progresses.

**Summary: **The Arabian Nights: Scheherazade is in danger every night… the only thing that saves her skill of spinning stories. Adapted for LoSH. When Sultan Kell-El is left heartbroken, he turns ruthless and marries a woman at night- kills her in the morning. When young Louise undertakes wedding the Sultan she tells stories of a colorful nature. Aladdin, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, The Three Sisters and more! Join Kell, Louise and the rest of the Legion on this roller coaster ride of story, after story.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything. This piece of writing is not meant as infringement and LoSH belongs to its respective owners. I don't own the Arabian Nights either.

**Author's Note: **This is the LoSH adaptation to The Arabian Nights. Louise Laine is my OC… For those of you who aren't familiar with The Arabian Nights, they are the collection of stories that Scheherazade tells her husband in order to stay alive. There will be TONS of pairings and plots because inside Kell and Louise's story, there will be tons more.

--

Long ago, in a far, far, far away land, there lived a prosperous sultan.

Sultan Kell-El was well-loved by his people and in his reign, the kingdom of New Metropolis extended to the fours corners of the world. Trade was a peak, New Metropolis was the most powerful kingdom in the land, but most of all- the people were happy.

Sultan Kell-El cared much for his people and was a fair, just king. Whatever he did was in people's interest and best concern. That is, until _it _happened.

_It _was a taboo. You were never to speak of _it. _

_It _was an utmost tragedy and the sole victim was the kind Sultan Kell-El…

The sultan had finally found love after many years in his rule. It wasn't that he was old; quite the contrary. The sultan was at his peak, no more than twenty years of age.

His heart fell for surely, the most beautiful, smart, witty, kind, caring and gentle maiden out there. He deserved no less. Soon after, the two were in wedded bliss.

Not soon after, the queen was found infidel.

She left the kingdom to marry Imperiex, her true lover. When she left, she took the sultan's heart too. Never again did Sultan Kell-El smile, let alone care for his people in the same manner.

After _it _happened, Sultan Kell-El went off the edge and branded every young maiden as a traitor. Each night, the Sultan commanded his Grand Vizier to find a girl who he would marry.

Then, each morning afterwards, his wife was brutally killed for crimes Sultan Kell-El's first wife committed.

This carried on for weeks, which became months, which became years. Soon, the supply of eligible women had dwindled and the Grand Vizier had no one pick… That is until his oldest daughter, his gem glory, his own flesh and blood- Louise stepped up.

--

"Father!" Louise cried. "You have to! You'll lose your job if you don't find any more girls!"

"Are you insane?" the Grand Vizier exclaimed. "I will not kill my own daughter at the morning's light!"

"But father," Louise said softly. "I think I know how to stop the sultan!"

"I will not take that risk," her father shook his head.

"FATHER!" Louise yelled. "Would you rather let more innocent young women die at your hand than let your little girl grow up?"

The Grand Vizier's heart sunk. He knew what he had to do.

--

The following evening, Louise wed the Sultan in hasty fashion. After the ceremonies, Louise headed to their quarters.

"Where are you going?" Kell commanded emotionlessly.

"Your Highness," Louise looked at him with the most innocent expression she could muster. "I wish to see my little sister for the last time tomorrow morning, if Your Majesty permits," she bowed.

"As you wish," he mumbled.

--

In the morning, Louise headed towards her sister, Nura.

"Louise!" Nura cried. "How could you do this?" she sobbed into her sister's shoulder.

"Nura, it will be okay," Louise soothed.

"How can you say that?" Nura looked at her with a tear stained face.

"I have a plan," Louise whispered. "I need your help, just follow my lead."

--

"Dear sister," Nura sat with her legs crossed. "Please tell me one of your stories, as I'll never get to hear one again."

"Sure," Louise smiled. "Anything in particular?"

"How about the one with the genie and merchant?" Nura requested.

"Sure," Louise smiled.

--

Not too long ago, there was a prosperous merchant who went by the name of Garth Ranzz. He had just finished an important deal, which went through successfully. Garth felt like celebrating, so he bought some dates from the local market and started to eat them.

As he bit each date, he tossed the pits in every which way. After he finished his delicious treat, he set out to journey back home.

Suddenly, bursts of smoke appeared. As they slowly faded, a large, but most of all angry genie emerged. He was pale green and carried an ax everywhere he went.

"I AM THE PERSUADER!" he announced. "YOU! You killed my son!" he boomed.

Garth, being the hothead he is, stuck his head out. "I did no such thing!" Garth said angry someone accused him.

"Is it true you did not just throw your date pits out into the open?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"ONE HIT MY SON IN THE EYE AND KILLED HIM!!"

"That's impossible," Garth scoffed. "I mean-"

"Silence, insignificant creature," the genie rose his ax to silence the merchant, once and for all.

--

"Do continue!" Nura pleaded.

"I-" Louise inwardly grinned when she saw the Sultan lean on the doorway. She turned solemn. "Your Highness, is it time for my execution?"

"Finish the story," he commanded, with a trace of kindness.

"I would, but you have royal duties. You mustn't be late for those," Louise gently reminded. "If Your Majesty allowed me another night to live, perhaps I could finish the story," Louise added cunningly.

The Sultan squinted his eyes suspiciously. But gave in, "One night," he allowed before walking off to his court.

--

WHOO! Prologue is done! Tell me what you think, love it, hate it? Please review!!


	2. The Merchant and the Genie

**Disclaimer: **DO I LOOK LIKE I OWN ANYTHING?? Leave me alone! Its people like you who keep me up in the middle of the night with sweat beading down my face and-

So I was exaggerating…Sue me. On second thought, please don't.

**Author's Note: **Here's the next chappie!

Jo Nah: Ultra Boy

Luornu Durgo: Triplicate Girl

Clark Kent: Superman

Garth Ranzz: Lightning Lad

Sussa Parka: Spider Girl (comics)/Wave (cartoon) She had a relationship with UB in the comics, so she's got a small part

Chuck Taine: Bouncing Boy

Rokk Krin: Cosmic Boy

I know you're supposed to show, not tell in writing, but there is a nice little bit of telling. Tell me what you think of the new style!

--

"Your Majesty," the Grand Vizier bowed at the Sultan's presence. He was conflicted whether to ask about his daughter and her untimely fate.

"Louise is fine, she has duties to execute, so don't delay her," Sultan Kell-El answered coldly, as if he had read the Grand Vizier's mind.

The day passed on in its usual manner, except for the daily wedding in the evening. Since Louise was still alive, the sultan just retired to his quarters. The next morning, after he prayed, Kell sought Louise in order to finish the story she started.

--

"Your Highness," Louise greeted Kell as he walked into their room. "I've been waiting for you.

"Sultana," Kell took a seat on the bed. "Call me Kell; Sultan gets old really fast," he looked at her, just noticing her exquisite beauty and elegant smile.

"As you wish. Are you ready for the story?" Louise asked him.

"As soon as your sister joins us," Kell answered.

Louise's eyes widened. She had forgotten about Nura. "Actually," Louise improvised. "I had some time in the afternoon yesterday and I told Nura then… I assume you still want to hear the rest of the story?"

"Go ahead," Kell commanded.

--

"Wait!" Garth cried. "Please, can you give me some time to return to my family and tell them of my untimely fate?"

"Very well," the Persuader lowered his ax. "Be here in exactly one year to receive the consequences of your actions." He lowered his voice. "If you fail to return to me, I'll inflict horrible things on your wife and son."

Garth returned to his home and retold what to become of him to his family.

"Garth! Don't go!" his wife, Imra bewailed.

"Father, please!" their son, Garth II added.

"I have a year, I intend fully to spend it with you two," Garth smiled.

After a year's time had passed, it was time for Garth to leave. He solemnly left their abode and returned to the exact spot he was at a year ago.

"My good sir!" a random person walked towards Garth.

"Yes?" Garth said unsurely.

"Would you like to buy some wares?" the man asked. "Oh! My apologies, I'm Jo. May I ask what you're doing here in such a deserted place?"

"Awaiting a tragic fate," Garth answered. "What's with the goat?" he motioned to the hind Jo was walking alongside.

"Greetings!" another merchant joined the two. She was young, but her hair was white. Alongside her were two dogs, one orange and one purple. "In the mood for some fine wares?" she asked. "I'm Luornu."

"Not really," Garth answered.

"May I ask what-" Luornu was interrupted by Garth.

He answered the question both merchants had asked, recounting his awful timing and his hallowed oath to be here again.

"Oh my!" Luornu put her hand over her heart. "How horrible!"

"We can help," Jo pitched in. "We'll stand witness to the Persuader with you."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure how much you can do," Garth said sadly.

In an ear shattering explosion, the Persuader resurfaced, ready to take Garth's life.

"Wait!" the two merchants cried. They threw themselves onto the Persuader's feet and begged for him to listen.

"FINE!" the Persuader boomed. "Tell me the story of your life, mongrel and if I find it more fascinating than the accounts of the man who killed my son-"

"You'll pardon him one-half of his offense?" Jo asked.

"Very well," the Persuader dropped Garth onto the ground and listened to Jo.

"This hind you see is my wife, Sussa," Jo started. "We were married for twenty years without any children. My desire of having children induced me to adopt the son of one of my servants. My wife was claimed by jealousy and nurtured a hatred for both the child and his mother, but Sussa hid her aversion so well I knew not of it until it was too late.

"While I was away, for some trading and such, Sussa hired a sorcerer who made a potion which turned my child into a calf and his mother into a cow. She gave both of them to my farmer.

"When I returned, I asked about my child and his mother, but Sussa claimed they both had died in a dreadful accident. Later on, was in the mood for some beef, so I called upon my farmer to get the plumpest cow and send it to the cook, ready to eat.

"My farmer found the fattest cow, the one who used to be my servant. When I was called upon to kill it, she started crying. I found this quite remarkable and I couldn't bring myself to kill it.

"My wife was another story. She was so enraged that she took spun around and her incredibly long hair whipped my poor cow, killing it. Once my cook opened up the cow, there was nothing but bones.

"I called upon my farmer to bring another cow. He brought out my chubbiest calf. When I was about to kill it, it prostrated itself before me, as if it was pleading for its life. No matter what Sussa said, I didn't kill it nor did I let her do it.

"A few days later, my farmer approached me and told me that he wished for me to meet with his daughter, as she had a little skill in magic. I was to bring my calf too.

"The next day I met with the girl who after taking a few tests informed me that my son was indeed the calf! I was ecstatic when she offered to reverse the enchantment. Her only condition was that she would marry my son in a few years when both of them were at a marriageable age. Also, she offered to turn Sussa into a goat for what she had done and somehow, I readily agreed."

Jo looked up at the Persuader. "Well?"

"Very well, I forgive the merchant of ½ of his crimes," the Persuader rubbed his chin.

"May I-" Luornu started.

"Yes, yes," the Persuader rolled his eyes. "I have things to do, so don't take too long like pee-pants over here."

"Alright," Luornu pet her orange dog and her purple dog before starting her anecdote.

--

"So the two dogs are your bitchy triplets who got jealous of your success as a merchant and your handsome swan lake fairy husband, Chuck?" the Persuader moaned.

"Yup," Luornu beamed.

"Well, I don't feel like killing you anymore, merchant. Those horrible stories have ruined my appetite," in a puff of smoke, the Persuader disappeared and Garth was free.

Garth went home after he endlessly thanked Jo and Luornu for their incredibly boring stories.

--

"Did you like it, Kell?" Louise asked gently.

"I did," Kell answered.

"Would you like to hear more?" Louise asked.

"There's more!?" Kell asked incredulously. "I mean, really?"

"No," Louise giggled. "I meant, would you like to hear another story?"

"We've got time," Kell sad, hiding his excitement. "Tell me another tale with a genie."

"They wish to be called djinn, you know." Louise told him. One look at his face, his perfect features and Louise felt her plan coming together. "As you wish, Sult- Kell," Louise corrected herself.

--

There was a fisherman who went by the name Rokk. He was so poor that he could barely afford to feed and clothe his family. Every day, he vigilantly worked hard to keep his family in the frail state they had been in for years.

One day, Rokk set out for his usual fish. After he cast the net, he reeled it in, hoping for a fat fish.

Instead, on his net, there lay a lamp made of solid gold.

--

"I think it's time for your court, husband." Louise stopped the story. "I wouldn't want you to be late," she added ever so innocently.

"Hm," Kell grunted. "I guess I DO have to go…"

"If Your Majesty permits, maybe I could-" Louise stopped when Kell put his hand up to silence her.

"I'll grant you only one more day, Sultana," Kell accepted.

"Call me Louise," Louise got up and brushed herself off. "Until tonight," and with that, Louise left.

--

Like it? Hate it? Please review!!


	3. The Fisherman and The Stolen Ass

**Disclaimer:**If you want the disclaimer THAT badly, just go to the previous chappies. I don't feel like telling you that I don't own LoSH right now ;)

**Author's Note: **This is a pretty short chappie, I apologize. Sorry it took so long to update, I've just been swamped!

Anyway, I wrote a Total Drama Island fic with Greenie (modified to Lena (Lenalia) Greene) paired with the show's obnoxious and sadistic host, Chris. Please check it out!

Enjoy!

--

Rokk carefully picked up the golden lamp. He examined it slowly and found that it was perfectly spotless, mind a few smudges on the side. He took the sleeve of his shirt and gently rubbed the side of the lamp.

What happened next was unpredictable. In a giant purple cloud of smoke, a yellow genie materialized.

"I am Ron-Karr! Prepare to die, wretch!" the genie boomed.

"What-what did I do to you?" Rokk asked. "I freed you and you vow to kill me!"

"Well…." Ron-Karr rubbed the back of his neck. "Pretty much…"

"Wh-Why?" Rokk was still perplexed.

"It's a long story," Ron-Karr explained. "For the first hundred years I was imprisoned, I promised myself I would bestow unimaginable riches to the person that freed me. For the next hundred years I vowed to make my savior king (or queen) of the world. For the _next _hundred years, I pledged to grant my liberator anything he wanted and I'd be his servant for all eternity. Soon, I grew tired and reckless. After three-hundred years of not being rescued, I swore that whatever sorry soul rubbed my lamp and set me free would be put to death. The only thing I would grant them would be the method of their demise," he finished ominously.

"So that's why you're going to kill me?" Rokk asked skeptically.

"Absolutely," Ron-Karr answered. "So, how would you like me to kill you?"

"You really fit in that tiny golden lamp?" Rokk asked unbelievingly.

"Yes, I just said that!" Ron-Karr grew impatient. "Stop changing the subject!"

"I don't believe you," Rokk said smugly. "There's no way you could have fit in that lamp."

"I JUST SAID I DID!!!" Ron-Karr bellowed.

"Do you swear on Rao's Mighty Shine?" Rokk challenged.

Ron-Karr groaned. He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I swear on Great Rao's Mighty Shine that I was stuck in that sprockin' lamp!"

"I still don't believe you," Rokk said pompously.

"SILENT INSOLENT BEING!" Ron-Karr fumed. "How dare you question my almighty oath!?!" Ron-Karr rose above his flames as he bent down to kill Rokk.

"Wait!" Rokk said. "If you fit in there once, then surely you could do it again! That would certainly take me!"

Ron-Karr gave a goofy smile, thinking he outwit the uncouth human and sent himself back into the lamp. Only after he was inside the lamp he realized what had happened.

Rokk gave a sigh of relief as he picked up the golden lamp. He hurled it across the river and hastily left the fishing hole.

--

"Are all genii that dumb?" Kell asked his wife.

"No, most are quite cunning and shrewd, but not all of them are evil. Some of them are really nice and caring," Louise answered. "Would you like to hear another tale?"

"Don't think I don't know where you're going with this," Kell warned her. "You'll start a story and won't finish until the nest day, where you'll do the same thing."

"I certainly hoped you'd find out soon," Louise smiled. "I wanted to know if the rumors about you were true."

"Rumors?" Kell inquired.

"You know, the ones that said you were incredibly handsome, exceptionally smart," Louise giggled.

"You think so?" Kell asked her.

"Maybe," Louise answered. "You might be attractive, but smart? That might take some convincing," Louise replied cheekily.

They inched closer to each other until they were in such proximity they could kiss. Their lips touched softly before the kiss was deepened.

Louise broke away and tried to hide her blush.

"Y-Your Highness, I-" Louise stuttered.

"Tell me another story, Louise," Kell asked softly and kindly.

"Alright, Kell," Louise smiled. "This one is called 'The Farmer and his Ass'."

--

There once was a farmer, like all farmers, who farmed. His name was Clark, and that's what most people knew him by.

One day, Clark got up in the morning to find his beloved ass missing. He searched for it everywhere on his property, but still with no avail.

Clark knew that someone had been lusting for his ass and stole it from right under him. This enraged Clark.

He went to his every one of his neighbors and asked, "Have you seen my ass?"

Each of them shook their heads, as none of them had been looking for his ass in the first place, save for the mischievous little girl who watched the fields.

Clark went out to the marketplace at midday with stick and yelled, "WHO DARED TOUCH MY ASS!!! Which one of you thieves stole it from me?" he demanded.

This scared everyone, as Clark was usually quiet and gentle. The thief looked around, scared.

"You better fess up, thief!" Clark screamed. "If you don't, I'll have to do what my father did when his ass was stolen!" Clark warned ominously.

The thief stepped up, "I'm sorry I stole your ass!" the green-skinned man apologized. "I'm Querl. Just out of curiosity, what DID your father do?" Querl asked as he handed Clark's ass back to him.

"Oh, he got a new one," Clark answered cheekily.

--

"I must go," Kell started.

Louise's eyes widened. _If he goes now, when I'm not in the middle of a story, I'll be killed for sure! _She thought frantically.

"I look forward to more tales, tomorrow," Kell kissed Louise before leaving.

--

Okay, how many of y'all knew an ass was a donkey?

Please leave a review! =)


	4. Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves Part I

Thanks a whole bunch to JudeDeluca for helping me get over my writers' block!

--

The next evening, Louise awaited Kell in their living quarters. When he arrived there, it was obvious he was not in a good mood. He sat down with his grim expression.

"What's the matter, Your Highness?" Louise asked.

"None of your business. This better be good if you wish to see the sun tomorrow," the Sultan replied emotionlessly.

Louise panicked. Had he forgotten what had happened between them the night before? Was this going to be the end for her?

Louise swallowed her fear and cleared her throat. "I have a story I'm sure you'll like, My Sultan," Louise started.

"Continue," Sultan Kell flicked his wrist.

"Once, there was a man named Garth-" Louise started.

"Hold. You've told me this story already," Kell said, unamused.

"No, I haven't, your highness," Louise said innocently.

"Don't you lie to me, you slut. I've already heard the story of Garth Ranzz," Kell replied, his anger growing.

"No no, this is a different Garth Ranzz. You see, this Garth, he had both a twin sister, named Ayla, and an older brother," Louise explained.

"Brother?" Kell asked.

"Yes. His name was Mekt. Compared to his siblings, Mekt was a rather lazy and selfish. Never worked a day in his life unless he was forced to. And of course, the siblings had to work. They were poor. Imagine having to share food between three grown people and living in a tiny hovel. Not to mention they had a donkey to feed," Louise continued.

"You're depressing me," Kell stated.

"But I haven't even told of how their luck changed," Louise said in a pleading tone.

"How?" Kell looked at her.

"Thieves. About forty of them," her mouth curved upward into a thin smile.

--

In a small village, far from any trade capital or major city, there lived two brothers who lived two very different lifestyles.

The older one, Mekt Ranzz had married a prosperous merchant's daughter, Esper, and carried a very lavish life. The younger brother, Garth, on the other hand had married a poor farmer's daughter and though he loved his Imra dearly, she was dirt poor. Imra was a beautiful, charming, cunning and almost telepathic woman. She had the uncanny ability to sense what others were thinking or feeling. Sometimes living with a woman who knew what you were thinking wasn't always easy.

Needless to say, Garth's life was anything but easy.

The two brothers had a little sister, Ayla, who lived with Garth. She loved both of her brothers, but she was always closer to Garth. Ayla did her part to bring food to the family table in return for bunking with the 'happy' couple.

One day, when Garth's hard day of cutting wood to sell at the market had come to close, he loaded it onto the back of his trusty donkey. He led the donkey towards the market, but was alarmed at the sound of horses approaching.

Click. Clack.

Click. Clack.

Click Clack.

This frightened Garth, but instead of fleeing, he hid his steed and himself behind a bush nearby. Garth's curiosity had piqued and he wasn't leaving anytime soon.

After the cloud of dust subsided, there were thirty –no, forty- richly dressed… merchants, maybe? Their steeds where brightly clad and they carried many riches with them.

The leader of the group stepped off of his mare and onto the ground. He walked over to a tree and carefully examined it by staring, listening, caressing, sniffing and licking it.

"Do you have to do that every time?" one of his men grumbled.

"Quiet, Ron-Karr," the leader growled.

"Yes, Tyr," Ron-Karr bowed his head.

"This is it!" Tyr exclaimed. "It's been so long…" Tyr caressed the tree lovingly again.

"Can we get on with it?" another groaned.

"Know your place, Hunter!" Tyr stared him down. Tyr took a deep breath in and chanted the words, **Open Sesame**.

No sooner did he open his mouth that the tree trunk opened and the forty men rushed inside. The aromas of powerful spices filled Garth's nostrils as the door slammed shut. Even though there was no one, Garth couldn't bring himself to leave as the merchants may exit at anytime. Thinking that he was a spy, they would have murdered him in an instant.

Hours went by before the forty men exited. Garth waited for the clacking hooves to be completely gone before he moved an inch. Curiosity got the better of him and Garth chanted the same words, **Open Sesame**to the tree trunk and it opened. He stepped inside and the door slammed shut. Garth was in pure awe of the riches the storeroom held. Gold, jewels, spices, rugs, and anything else the mind could think of were in the vast piles of the treasure storeroom.

"Thieves," Garth whispered. There was no human way to collect all this wealth honestly. Those forty men must have been thieves.

Garth debated whether or not he should take some of the riches for himself and his family and soon decided that stealing from thieves was plausible. He carefully took a little bit of gold and jewels so that when the forty thieves returned, they wouldn't notice what was missing.

"Open Sesame," Garth said and the door open with a creak. Garth tip-toed to his donkey and with the cloth he had wrapped his wood around, he wrapped the treasures. He discarded of the wood and returned to town discreetly, not to arouse anyone's attention.

--

"Oh, Garth!" his beautiful blonde wife Imra threw her arms around him. "I was so worried when you didn't return by sundown…"

"I'm okay, Imra," Garth kissed her softly. He had led the family donkey inside the house. Imra raised an eyebrow at this, since it was usually kept outside.

"What's with-" before she could finish, Garth unraveled the bundles on the donkey's back to reveal silks, gold coins and priceless jewels. "Wha? How?"

"Shh," Garth picked out a pink and white necklace and wrapped it around Imra's swan neck. He held a jewel encrusted mirror to her.

"Wow," she whispered. She took it off and gave it back to him. "Where did you get it?"

"Why don't you wear it? And I'll tell you in a moment," Garth replied.

"I can't wear this… Wouldn't the townspeople question why a peasant woman is wearing jewelry fit for royalty?" Imra questioned.

"Well…" Garth sighed.

After he brought Ayla into the room, he explained everything that had happened from when the thieves first arrived, to when they said the magic words to when Garth himself managed to take some of the riches for himself.

"Wow!" Ayla exclaimed. "That really happened? That's so cool!"

"Really?" Imra trusted her husband, but his story seemed slightly obscure.

"Yeah, scout's honor," Garth swore.

"… So what do we do with all of this?" Ayla asked.

"I think we should count it first," Garth suggested. "If we know how much we have, then we can use it wisely."

"There's too much to count by hand though," Imra countered.

"I think Mekt has a weight thing," Ayla suggested. "I was there earlier. Why don't you borrow his?"

--

After Garth had left to sell some of the gold (only a little, or else the townspeople would raise eyebrows of where the poor farmer was getting riches) at the market, Imra visited her brother-in-law's abode. Since Mekt was out, she talked to Esper.

"Sure," Esper said, suspicious of what the penniless woman needed to weigh. "Wait here," Esper fetched her scale, but not before attaching some wax to the bottom of it. When Imra finished weighing whatever it was she was weighing, some of it would stick to the bottom of the scale, where Esper had attached the wax.

Esper walked back to Imra and handed the scale to her.

"Thanks," Imra smiled and went to her own shack next door. She placed the gold onto the scale and took note of how much of everything they had. When Imra returned it to her sister-in-law, Esper was furious. After Imra left, Esper screamed.

How the sprock could the poorest couple in town have so much gold that they had to WEIGH it all!?! Maybe… Maybe they weren't as poor as they let on. Maybe, they were pretending to be poor so people would give them stuff. Those bitches.

When Mekt finally returned home, Epser told him of what she had discovered. Mekt too was green with envy and set out to address his brother.

--

"Brother!" Mekt bellowed as he slammed the door of Garth's humble abode open. "Where is all this gold coming from?"

"… What gold?" Garth looked up from his meal.

"Don't play dumb with me," Mekt lifted Garth by the collar. "I know about your sudden wealth."

Garth, being the kind-hearted man he was, told Mekt the story of the thieves as he had done with his wife and sister.

"Open Sesame?" Mekt scoffed. "That's really… stupid."

"Yeah," Garth said slowly. "Can I finish my dinner now?"

"By all means," Mekt was suddenly kind to him. "Why don't you tell me where this hoard of riches is?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I can out you to the whole town," Mekt replied simply. Garth sighed. The next day, he took Mekt to the exact spot where he had been before.

"Don't forget the code word," was all Garth warned as he left to cut more wood.

Mekt greedily uttered **Open Sesame** and crept inside the vast, treasure filled room where piles of riches never seemed to end. Mekt shoved anything and everything into his many knapsacks and finally, when he had stolen everything his heart desired, he returned to the entrance.

"Open Barley!" Mekt declared.

Nothing happened.

"Uh… That wasn't it… Open Oats!" Mekt said.

Again, nothing happened.

Mekt started to panic, "Open… Open… Open Carrots!" he said frantically. He tried many other code words, but none seemed to work. Not long after, horses could be heard.

Click. Clack.

Click. Clack.

Click Clack.

They all moved together. Outside, the leader hopped off his horse and said, "Open Sesame!"

"Open Sesame! That was it!" Mekt said under his breath. He hid behind a pile of gold, hoping the thieves wouldn't spot him. The forty men filed into the secret room

"… Someone's been here," Tyr growled. "Something's missing."

Tyr sniffed at the air and walked towards Mekt. He lifted the cowering, craven man. "Well, well. Looks like we've got a thief on our hands. What should we do with him, men?"

"Burn him!"

"Stab him!"

"Molest him!"

"Pluck his eyelashes off one by one!"

"…"

"Shrink his head!"

"I know exactly what to do with you," Tyr laughed evilly. Soon the whole room was full of raucous laughter.

--

When Mekt didn't come home that night, Esper was worried. Garth told her to calm down and that he'd look into it the next day.

The next morning, when Imra went to the market to get some groceries, she passed by the northern gate of town. Her blood froze when she saw a quarter of a bloody dead body with no eyelashes up on the gate post. There was a message scribbled into the wood there. 'This is what happens to trespassers' was what it read. She walked closer for a better view and dropped her basket when she saw it was Mekt. Imra quickly looked around, seeing that no one could see her, she wrapped the body in her scarf and tossed it over her back.

When she was making her way back to the house, one of her friends, Lulu spotted her.

"Hey Imra! Whatcha got there?" Lulu giggled.

"Just some… hay. For the donkey," Imra told her friend. "I've got to go, but we'll catch up later, Lu."

She almost ran back to the house and laid the body inside. Quick-thinking Imra emptied her basket and filled it with cloth scarves and visited the East, West and South gates of town, just to make sure the rest of Mekt wasn't there.

He was.

She wrapped the three quarters up and carried them back to house, trying her best to look inconspicuous. When Imra returned with the rest of the body, she quickly put the pieces together and tucked some blankets over him, so he looked asleep.

That night, when Garth returned, Imra broke the news to him and Esper. Surprisingly, Esper didn't really look as miserable as poor little Ayla did.

"What do we do with him?" Garth asked.

"Sew up the body, give him a proper funeral," Imra replied. "There's not much else we can do…"

"Where do we get someone who's willing to sew up a dead body and keep quiet about it?" Ayla asked.

"Well…" Imra thought about it.

--

Later on that week, after most suspicion had winded down, Imra visited the local cobbler, Chuck Taine. She smiled sweetly as she approached his shop.

"Mr. Taine?" Imra asked.

"Yes?" he looked up at her.

"I need you to make a house call," she continued.

"I don't do those, sorry," he gave her an apologetic smile. Imra slipped a gold-foil covered chocolate onto the booth table.

"Hmm… Well I can't leave me shop unattended for so long," Chuck replied. Imra pulled out a whole bag of gold-foil chocolate coins and tossed them onto the table. Chuck perked up and took a coin, unpeeling it and tasting it.

"That's just an advance," Imra said. "Do the job and there's more where that came from."

--

"Hold it. Hold it," Kell interrupted her. "This is implausible. You can't sew up a decaying body."

"I didn't make up the story, Your Highness," Louise replied. "Now, as I saying-"

"I'm tired," Kell declared. "I don't want to listen to your silly stories right now."

Louise swallowed, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Shut your trap and go to sleep," Kell said rudely.

"You can't talk to me like that!" Louise exclaimed. "I'm not some dog or something!"

"I'm Sultan," Kell growled.

"And I'm Sultana," Louise stuck her nose in his face. "I refuse to respond to a comment like that."

"Are you just asking to get your head severed?" Kell growled.

"Fine. Do what you want," Louise shook her head. "I thought you could be changed. I guess I was wrong…"

Kell softened when he heard this.

"No wonder your first wife left you," she spat.

Kell turned red with anger, "Take that back!"

"Yeah… No," Louise looked him in the eye. "If you're gonna kill me, at least let me say what I think of you chauvinist asshole son of a bitch."

Kell glared. "At least I'm not a slutty whore bitch like you."

"Oh yeah, because sleeping with thousands of wives like you have, isn't slutty at all!" Louise yelled.

"That's what you really think of me?" Kell asked honestly.

"I'll leave that up to you," Louise shook her head. Kell took her hands with his and kissed her gingerly.

"I've always loved a woman who spoke her mind," Kell said in between kisses. Louise wrapped her arms around his neck, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

That night, Louise never got the chance to tell Kell the rest of the story, and he wouldn't have listened either way. The 'happy' couple was indulging in other sensual pleasures.

The next morning, when they woke up in each others' arms, Kell whispered to Louise, "Can you tell me the rest tonight?"

--

**Kell is very bipolar. Yup, yup. **

**Thanks a whole bunch for reading. Cookies for reviewers! **


	5. Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves Part II

**Disclaimer:** Um, seriously?

**Author's Note: **Sorry that I totally like abandoned this fic… I don't really have a good excuse this time… Anyways… I hope you enjoy this 2669 words of LoSHy goodness! C:

...

The next evening, Louise entered their chamber and was greeted by her Sultan.

"Good evening, Kell," Louise smiled, actually happy to see him for once. Kell slowly nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Are you finishing the story so I can execute you tomorrow?" Kell asked coldly.

Louise looked at him quizzically, _Okay, this guy has some serious bipolar issues. _"Um, yeah… I'll finish the story. But first, how was your day, my Sultan?" _Maybe there's a reason he's being less than amiable?_

"Horrible. Now tell me the rest of the story," Kell commanded.

"Aren't you going to ask how _my _day was, darling?" Louise batted her eyelashes, feigning innocence.

"Mmm, not really. I can behead you now if you don't want to go on with the story," the Sultan said effortlessly.

"Okay, fine. Geesh," Louise muttered. "So we left off with the cobbler…"

...

Imra lead Chuck through town, until she reached the edge of the main market. She pulled out a blindfold from her satchel and looked at Chuck sympathetically. "I'm going to have to blindfold you from here on… But don't worry. I'll lead the way," she explained as she wrapped the piece of cloth around his eyes.

They reached the house, but Imra didn't remove the blindfold until they were inside. She took the cobbler into a dark, empty room without windows were Mekt's body was.

"I need you to sew this up for me," she asked sweetly. She lit a lamp and put it on the table next to the bed where Mekt lay.

Chuck carefully took a look at the body and shuddered, "I have to… Sew _that_up?"

"Yes, please."

It took a little while, but Chuck had finished the job and was about to leave. "Wait," Imra halted him. "I need to take you back. You don't know the way."

Chuck nodded in agreement as she tied the blindfold around his eyes and led him back to the market. There, she pulled out a bag of gold-foil covered chocolate coins and handed it to him. Then she pulled out another, "Forget the last three hours, okay?" she asked, handing the second bag to him.

...

"Tyr, sir," Ron-Karr bowed to his leader. "I was making rounds in the city today and that man who we cut up… He had disappeared completely!"

Tyr looked visibly shocked, "B-But... How?" he muttered to himself. He quickly recomposed himself. "Well, we'll need to get to the bottom of this! Any volunteers?" he looked to his forty thieves.

"Oooh, me! Pick me! Pick me!" Ron-Karr raised his hand wildly.

"Very well," Tyr nodded. "If you find out who did this, you will be rewarded handsomely. If not, your punishment will be grave. Understand?"

"Of course," Ron-Karr bowed once more before exiting and heading out to the town. In town, he went straight to the market and looked through all the stores. One booth looked particularly suspicious, as its owner had three bags of gold foil chocolate coins sitting on a back shelf.

"Hmmm," Ron-Karr mused as he approached the stall. "Good morning."

"Good morning, sir. What can I do for you?" Chuck, the cobbler, asked brightly.

"Answer me a question," Ron-Karr replied, tossing a bag of coins onto the table.

"Um, alright," Chuck replied, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Have you seen or done anything… odd in the past day or so?"

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Chuck chuckled. Ron-Karr did not. He tossed another pouch to Chuck.

"Tell me," Ron-Karr said forcefully.

"Well…" the cobbler sighed. He took the thief up to the spot where Imra had blindfolded him. "I don't know the way after here… She made sure I couldn't see."

"Very well. Thank you," Ron-Karr nodded before walking off. He continued walking until he saw a large neighborhood and stopped.

"This one looks suspicious," Ron-Karr guessed. He pulled out a piece of white chalk and drew a X right above the door. He laughed wildly before going back to the cave.

Coincidentally, the house with the white X was actually Garth Ranzz's. Ayla and him were at work, while Imra had gone out to do the groceries. On her return, she noticed the white X and got a little worried. After going inside to put the milk and yogurt in the fridge, she walked outside and drew white Xs on every single other house in the neighborhood.

"That should do it," she nodded, happy with her work, before returning to her own house.

Meanwhile, Ron-Karr had rallied up Tyr and was leading him to the neighborhood.

"See, I don't exactly remember the house, because they all looked the same, but I drew an X with chalk, so don't worry," Ron-Karr was recounting the tale proudly. He looked to Tyr, who was not amused. "What happened?" Ron-Karr paled, noticing Tyr's anger.

"Every single house in this neighborhood has a white X on it, you dumbass!" Tyr yelled, his blood boiling.

"Oops."

That evening, Ron-Karr was swiftly executed. The next morning, Tyr approached his 39 thieves and asked if anyone else was brave and smart enough to try again.

"Does anyone think they can do it?" Tyr challenged.

"I think I can!" Hunter stepped up.

"Very well. The conditions are the same," Tyr replied. "Good luck."

And with that, Hunter rode into town. He too, saw the cobbler and stopped by his stall. In fact, he did everything exactly the way Ron-Karr did it, but when he reached the Ranzz house, he remembered Ron-Karr's tragic error- using white chalk. Hunter pulled out a piece of red chalk and scribbled an X on top of their door. He quickly left to get Tyr.

Not much later, Imra returned from the butcher, the baker and the candle-stick maker's and saw a _red _X right above her doorway. She went inside, dropped off her meats, breads and candles and took a piece of red chalk and drew an X on every house, much in the same manner she did the day before.

As soon as Imra returned home, Hunter had come back with Tyr. He, again, was not amused. Hunter shared the same fate as Ron-Karr, leaving Tyr with only 37 men left.

"I can't keep sending my men off like this… I can't lose more of them," he said to himself. And suddenly, he got an idea.

This time around, it was Tyr who visited Chuck the cobbler and got directions. Once he reached Garth Ranzz's house, instead of putting any sort of marking, Tyr simply memorized what the house looked like so when he returned that evening, he wouldn't fail to remember.

Meanwhile, in the neighboring village, Tyr had sent some of his men to buy nineteen mules and thirty-eight leather jars. They loaded two leather jars on each mule and each of the 37 thieves hid in a leather jar, leaving one left. Tyr filled the last one with oil. Tyr had now disguised himself as a traveling oil merchant who needed somewhere to stay for the night.

"My good man," Tyr greeted Garth Ranzz, who was sitting outside his house. "I'm a traveling oil merchant and I have nowhere to stay for the night. I must get to the market early tomorrow morning… Do you have room in your home and heart to let me stay here?"

Though Garth had seen the leader of the thieves back at the cave, he did not recognize him in his disguise. "Sure! No problem," Garth welcomed him in and had Imra make him dinner while Ayla led the mules into the backyard. After she left, Tyr walked in and whispered to each man- "I'll let you know when it's time. Don't come out until then."

Garth had had a long day, so he went to sleep, but Ayla and Imra had some work to finish up. In the middle of it, their lamp went out and Ayla went to fetch some oil, but they were out.

"How are we supposed to get this done?" Imra sighed. "All the stores will be closed by now. Its dark out."

"Just get some from that merchant's jar in the backyard. We can pay him back tomorrow morning," Ayla suggested.

"Good idea," Imra nodded as she went out to the yard.

The first thief, hearing footsteps asked, "Is it time?"

Imra, who heard a man where oil should have been, was tempted to scream, but didn't. She quickly understood that these were the thieves and the 'merchant' was their leader. She cleared her throat and deepened her voice and pretending to the 'merchant', she said, "Not yet. But soon." Imra did this 37 times, until she reached the last jar- the one that actually had oil in it.

She took the whole jar back inside the house. Imra put a little oil in the lamp, but boiled the rest in a kettle.

"What are you doing?" Ayla asked Imra, seeing her and the kettle. "We already had tea."

"Shh, I'll explain later," Imra whispered. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

And with that, Imra stepped outside and dumped enough oil into each jar to stifle and kill each robber. When her courageous deed was done, Imra went back inside and waited to see what would happen.

About a quarter of an hour later, Tyr saw that all was quiet, so he threw some pebbles at the jars on the mules. When nothing happened, he grew a little uneasy and went out to the yard. Again, nothing happened.

"Are you asleep?" he asked angrily to one thief as he opened the jar. He smelled the hot, burned oil and quickly went to the other 36 jars with thieves and the empty oil jar. Tyr quickly became aware of what had happened. He jumped over their fence and ran away.

The next morning, Garth woke up and noticed that the merchant was gone, but his mules and jars were still there. Imra recounted the tale to him and Ayla, telling them that the merchant was really the leader and he had escaped.

"Wow, Imra," Garth said. "You saved my life! How can I ever make it up to you?"

Imra smiled, "You don't have to. I love you, Garth."

"I love you, too," he replied, pulling her into a warm hug.

"Eww. Go get a room, you too," Ayla pretended to be disgusted.

Tyr returned to his now lonely cave and decided to avenge his men by killing off Garth Ranzz.

...

Kell yawned, "This is getting boring."

"No, its not," Louise replied. "It's like at the climax now."

"Yeah, whatever," Kell rolled his eyes.

Louise took in a deep breath, "Okay, what's wrong? I thought… I thought we were going good. Last night was good… And now it's like… not good," Louise stammered out, almost shocked by her own audacity.

Kell looked at her for what felt like forever before he started, "Just finish the story already."

Louise's heart sunk.

...

Tyr decided the best way to execute his plan was to go slow. First, he cut his hair and disguised himself as a harmless merchant. He loaded some of his stolen riches on his horse and entered town. He took up residence at a lodge and the next day, he set up shop at a stall across from Ayla's homemade jewelry store.

"Hello, I'm Billy Joe Bob and I'm new here," Tyr said politely, introducing himself to Ayla.

"And I'm Ayla. Nice to meet you, BIlly Joe Bob," she replied.

Everyday, Tyr would bring some small trinket for Ayla as a peace offering, trying to get her to befriend him. And as the days progressed, she did.

One day, on the way home, Ayla invited 'Billy Joe Bob' to their house for dinner.

"You really should. Imra makes the best food," Ayla added.

"Well, I'll stop by. But I can't commit to dinner," Tyr replied. They went home and Ayla introduced her brother to 'Billy Joe Bob'.

"Nice to meet you," Garth said, completely oblivious that it was Tyr, leader of thieves.

"Likewise. Now, I can't stay for dinner-"

"And why not?" Garth interrupted.

"Well, I don't eat salt, so…"

"Imra, you heard the man- no salt in our bread or meats tonight," Garth told his wife.

She forced a smile. "Of course," she said, before going to the kitchen. "What an odd man. Doesn't eat salt!" she muttered. Though Imra found it suspicious, she didn't pick up on the fact that he didn't _want_ to eat their salt. See, in that culture, eating a host's salt means that one is indebted to the host and must protect him if there is any sort of threat during his stay.

And Tyr certainly wasn't going to do that. In fact, he was working on the opposite.

Imra entered the dining room, bringing in the food one dish at a time. On her second trip, she saw a bulge in his side… Something eerily knife-shaped…

Finally, Imra brought in the turkey and placed it in front of Tyr. "May I carve the turkey today, Garth?" Imra asked her husband sweetly.

"Sure, why not?" Garth replied, sipping some of his wine.

"Hurry up! It looks good!" Ayla exclaimed.

"Yup!" Imra replied cheerily. She glanced over at Tyr, who had his eyes on the turkey and decided to take advantage of his absentmindedness. Pulling the knife out and pushing it towards the turkey, she suddenly switched directions and plunged the knife through Tyr's heart. He fell to the floor, lifeless.

"Imra! Are you insane!" Garth yelled, shocked.

"Hardly," she smiled wryly as she opened his coat pocket and pulled out a butcher's knife. "The man won't eat our salt and he's carrying a giant knife around?"

"The leader," Garth whispered. "It's the thieves' leader."

Imra nodded.

"Wow," Garth grinned. "You saved me again. What would I do without you, Imra?"

And with that, the Ranzzes lived long, wealthy lives. Garth passed the story and magic words to his kids, who passed it down to their kids, who passed it down to their kids, ecetera.

The End.

...

"The night is still young, sire," Louise said after finishing the story. "Perhaps we have time for another story?"

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," Kell replied. "You start a story every night and don't finish it so I don't kill you. And then the next night, after finishing the first story, you start another so you can live another day."

Louise paled. She swallowed, "I-It's not like that, sire. It, um, well, the-"

"Are you going to tell me another story or what?" Kell asked.

Louise brightened. "Of course!"

...

Once upon a time, there was a poor boy named Alabrin Londo, Brin for short. He wasn't the brightest, or the most handsome, but he had a good heart. He lived with his mother in a crappy shed on the outskirts of town. They did menial, laborious jobs for a living until one day… When Brin met a evil wizard.

...

Louise yawned, "You know what, I think I'm going to turn in. I'm really tired."

"You barely started the story," Kell pointed out.

"So?" Louise shrugged.

"You _want _to get beheaded tomorrow morning?" Kell asked.

Louise sighed, "You know what? You can't keep saying that to me. You can't try to control me by keeping me in fear of death. You know what, Kell? I'd rather you just kill me off than stifle me and force me to do whatever you want to do!" She prayed that her bluff worked.

"Very well," Kell narrowed his eyes. He stood up and left the room.

Louise, for the second time that night, went white.

Before exiting, Kell turned back and looked at her, "I'll see you tomorrow night. You better finish that story!"

...

**Well, thanks for reading! I LOVE reviews! C:**


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